Sunday, December 23, 2007

Happy Holidays, honeys!

just a quick note to say:
anyone who's stopping in, I hope you're having a joy-filled and love-filled holiday season, and let's all be thankful for the goodness that we have...

I've been testing the waters over at the BHW, cuz that place just feels more like home sometimes.
So, if you're interested, there are a few new posts over there.
(hyperlink added after Bud's comment alerted me that I hadn't!)

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Gently falling snow

Today is a lovely, warmly snowing day.
My dear B. is enjoying his first day of snowboarding and if I close my eyes I can feel the wind rushing past him, and see his grin--it's the easiest way to imagine him since he is such a smiler...
Insert dopey, smiling Siiiigh......

I am falling, but not as gently as the snow.
I am falling haltingly, giddily.
Lurching forward, I fall into this great, gaping crevice in the mountain...

What a week, what a month--
what a bloody YEAR!
I am going to celebrate the end of this year with the fire of new life burning through each cell of my body.
Time to start again, and ready or not, new year,

Life is good.
I have reached a new level of comfort with this life of mine.

Wow...the snow is falling in giant clumps, so soft and light.
It's going to pile up fast...
tomorrow will be some fucking awesome skiing!
...for people who know HOW to ski.
I will plan on taking a lesson as soon as I get there.
(And remind me to check to see when my Linguistics final is due...)

Life is one big ball of chaos, here, but it's a shiny, pretty one.
D. is moving away today,
Je. is moving away tomorrow...
Ja. is coming tomorrow to visit for the week, and then it's almost Christmas
and then it's New Year's Eve...
And 2008 will be here and we get to have a new President!

Wine and deep thoughts,
karaoke and deep laughs.
Dancing and pool--
the guy who used only one hand, because his skill is so refined that it isn't fair otherwise.
There was the karaoke dude,
with news of his far away friend.
There was my date, and his passion...
And there was the moment He told me that he wants me in his life always.
And on the way home he dozed a little and slid his hand down my pants and the music was soft and soothing and then we got to my bed and he awoke with a vengeance--
hours and hours of vengeance, in fact.
At one point I smiled into his glowing face and said, "No one else on the whole planet had sex this good tonight. There's no way."

You could say the divorce really agrees with me.
Also, my kitten is sitting on my desk looking out the window watching the snow...
it's so cute!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Winter Wonderland, and no Alice in sight

Well, maybe one, but definitely no Chesire cats.

it snowed all day and the kids were drowning in snow and hot chocolate and I was snuggly and warm inside and lookin' so damn cute in my boots and tightblackwool sweater...
And then there was the guy with the Scottish accent and the guy with no teeth who kept attempting to play cupid for me (when really it's just not needed) and there was the artist.
His ragged and raw soul was stuffed clumsily into the shell of him,
tired eyes and gently absent smile.
The bronze sculpture of the woman holding John the Baptist's head nearly brought me to tears.
It was...worth its thousand words, and then some.
Her cheek bones and her eyes told a thousand page tale, between them.
And then he said, "I'll draw someone, who wants to be drawn?"
He wanted to draw me; I saw his eyes dart to me so slightly as others said they would love to be drawn.
"I will," I said.
And he came alive just a little and he went to get his sketchpad.
And I couldn't sit still, but finally I did, and he took the lines from across my face--the ones that tell the story of who I am--and he laid them across that paper with such grace and generosity!
The girl on that page is so lovely.
I thought of You while I sat staring at a spot on the wall, just behind the slowly filling ashtray.
So that You are there with me, and maybe that's why he didn't draw my eyes--
he wanted them downcast, because there is no artist alive who could capture the light of You in my eyes...

Such beauty, such talent.
It has inspired me to scramble once again toward my destiny.
oh bloody fucking
do I insist on forgetting that life is not static, that MY life is not static??
Ever-changing, dynamic, ephemeral--

I am sooo sleepy....
I showered the smoke off and now my deliciously cozy bed is waiting for me, so off I go.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Goooood night.

Got a text from the ex-MIL tonight; they've finally set the headstone!
It's his 33rd birthday tomorrow, and I am so excited to go see the stone!
It will feel so much more like his presence.

This B. fellow is seriously cool.
He took me to his friend's house tonight to meet the snakes.
This guy breeds exotic constrictor type snakes--boas and pythons.
His willowy wife plays the harp and he knows everything about the hundreds of snakes...
there were bright green ones and yellow-and-purple ones.
There were two 19-footers (that's like 6 meters, yo!)
And a bunch of other giant ones, and a whole room full of babies.
It was intense.

I grew up afraid of snakes.
When I was 15 or so there was a woman at the Boston Museum of Science, which we were visiting, who had a boa constrictor for people to touch, etc.
I shook with fear, but I watched from afar and I calmed myself down and I went and touched it.
That was the moment I realized big snakes were far less shudder-inducing than little ones.
And that tame ones were better than almost-stepped-on-that-horrible-thing ones.
Then when I was 21 there was Yanni, and Lu.
Their names were both really Jon, but they were crazy-sexy boys and they could name themselves so they did.
Anyway, I knew Yanni from BYU and it was always trippy to see him all long-haired and drunk, but I digress.
He owned a couple of pythons and had a rattle snake in a box in his closet...EEEK.
And he had this little baby snake once when we were there and he said, "Watch this-"
And proceeded to put the thing into his mouth.
We squealed (becky and I) and then he spit it out
it had POOOPED in there!!!!
...yes, there went any chance he ever had of scoring with me!
Sorry, can't kiss ya, snake-poo mouth!
Which reminds me!
Two of the snakes tonight were mating!
Snake fuckin'.
It was hawt.
(it actually was really cool...their tales were all intertwined and the snake breeder told me they have TWO penises!)

He did say that the snow making season is almost over, 3 or 4 more weeks.
And then he'll be doing other stuff, on a more normal schedule.
So, hooray for possibly getting to see more of each other!

I am definitely ready for bed.
Well fed, well fucked, and well...just plain sleepy.