Saturday, November 10, 2007

I'm feeling....

pissed at my pussy
She is so full of energy and life--
and I kind of wish she had a lot less of BOTH.
She just wants to play all the time and she is kind of stupid.
Right now?
She is trying to sit on my shoulder, but instead has landed on her back, halfway down mine.

I am...fuzzy around the edges.
A little dizzy.
That was a good dinner party.
The former lover looked good, made a move on me while we were smoking in that small room, and I almost considered it.
As if.

I have had some excruciatingly intense lessons this week, and I feel like a different person.
The bottom line is that I need to stop fighting this precious gift the universe has given me in B...I need to stop being so afraid of taking this gift.
I realized that along with all the incredible lessons this week, I have been pushing the universe's buttons, to try to see if I really get to be with B.
Looks like I can't shake him.

Also, there may have been one of the most beautiful men I've ever met at this party tonight.
Skin like liquid night.
Sparkles in his ears matching the sparkles in his eyes.
Crisp white shirt.
That man was made for...someone else, apparently, cuz I've been given my orders.
Fortunately I like my orders just fine for now.

I swear to little baby jesus's diaper rash that if I don't get to see him tomorrow I will cry so hard you'll all need a mop.
I just need a hug and a smile.
I'll be ok with life if I can just get that.
I am ready to learn more from him.

I really need to go to bed.


D-Man said...

Orders are orders, I guess. :)

Orange said...

Oh, I don't know about that. What about telling sweet B. that it is way to soon after your separation to be a one-man woman, and that you can both date other people along the way? You don't have to opt for monogamy at this stage, you know. Just a thought...

Oh! I am to the west of you for a change. Am in L.A. for a three-day weekend in search of fame and fortune.

Bud said...

Kinda feeling like a teenager, huh?

Lisa said... guessed it, Bud! I don't like feeling like a teenager at all, but I guess I'll survive it.

Oh, Orange, I can't wait to hear! Email me when you get settled back at home. My email is forwarding to a new address, it's this url at yahoo if you wanna go direct.

Love that attidue, d-man! take orders, do ya, baby? ;)

d-man said...

Would love to see photos of your pussy



Thomas said...

It might be a bit soon to be a one-man woman... But IMO you might consider being a no-man woman for a bit should your current man and you not work out. The time I learned the most about myself was when I wasn't thinking about a woman in my life. I made the changes to start making me the man I wanted to be. It was only then, when I was happy with where I was headed, that I let myself fall in love with someone.

Of course, when a wonderful thing falls into your lap, and even farther repeatedly and forcefully, you gotta take advantage of it. :D

Lisa said...

I know what you mean, Thomas, and believe me--I will take the chance to be alone if it comes! I learneda ton about myself while making my way through a connection-less marriage. it was sorta like being alone! :)

And D-man...
No comment.

Orange said...

Shit, I find myself agreeing with T. for the first time ever. I swear that a few months ago, you said you weren't going to be looking to partner up again any time soon, that you were just gonna be you. You might want to try that. (But maybe not 'til after you tire of B., because a woman has needs, after all!)

Lisa said...

Well, what one looks for and what one finds are generally two very different things, Orange dear. I definitely wasn't looking for him, but you don't walk away from that kind of gift. You run--into bed with it! Well, you get the idea. :)

Orange said...

Just don't smack your shins on the bed frame, you know? :-)

Lisa said...

Owie!!!!!! Hell, no.