Oh, what a night!

So much good about it.
I had my kids sleep over at their friend's house and I went out with some friends...
It's been a tough week.
I don't plan on going out much on the weekends I have my kids, just for the record, but I am struggling at the moment and it sounded like heaven to go play pool and listen to a band and have a Corona.
Or two; literally.
I am such a non-drinking drinker.
Anyway!
So we walked into the place and the second of many people to greet my friend was introduced to me as my boy's best friend.
And he said, "Oh! You're Lisa! I'm so excited to meet you!"
....just about melted my heart into vapor, I tell ya!
Cuz that sweet boy is tied up with important family stuff and I know I won't see him much for a few weeks and I'm ok with that--it means he has the right priorities--BUT.
BUT.
It was such a warm ray of sunshine to spend the evening with his best friend.
Only there was a glitch, but it turned into a beautiful test of my adoration and commitment to this sweet man...
The best friend had a workmate with him.
A 23 year old, fucking adorable, deep conversation haver.
He was cool and cute and
wanted me
so
bad.
And, frankly, I refused him a hug on the grounds that I was attracted to him and that might push me past my limit of restraint.
GAH.
I enjoyed his company immensely, but all I could think of was my adored one.
And that we may not be uber-committed yet but there is no way in this spinning world that I would want anyone but him right now.

So.
It was cool to be tempted and be able to resist...
I think I doubt myself a little after the sordid events of last year.
I know I was so grossly unfulfilled that I sought out inappropriate connections, and then cheated, etc.
But.
I also know that I'm not a cheater.
I enjoy attention from men, but it was so gratifying to learn that I am not so dependent upon it that I would make selfish choices.

Dunno.

But when I got in my car as we parted ways with this kid knowing I chose my B
I let out a squeal.
It felt so good to know I still belong to him.
And his friend will report back that a guy tried his best to go home with me and I couldn't stop talking about B.
Which is just a nice bonus, ya know?
I would have made the same exact choices without his presence, but it's cool to have a witness.
Hee...

I have downloaded a bunch of Liz Phair and some Alicia Keyes and some Sinead O'Connor and I am in friggin GIRL POWER bliss!!!
Wooot!

Also, I am madly in love with Becky's new boyfriend.
I said to her tonight, "Let's marry him."
Cuz what I mean is, she better stick with him because he's as good as my own favorite super hero, Mighty Man.
Yes, that is my highest compliment.
He exudes loving, giving, kindness.
and not just for her--he started both of our cars while we hit the bathroom one last time on our way out of the bar.
It's a freeeezing cold night, one of the first so it's shocking for it's newness not for its coldness, and does anyone feel a hint of the bored housewife here tonight?
Sometimes I feel like myself again on this page and it's exciting.
Almost as exciting as the check for $113.62 I got from Google yesterday.
I do not regret my Ad Sense now, no siree!

Ok...
I guess I better go to bed.
And the best part is, it's NOT almost 3am right now.
because
It's daylight savings time, baby!!
That thrills me to the core.
Like an apple on a roller coaster.
:D

I am not even remotely buzzed right now and I can still say:
I love you guys!!!!
Like the sun set reflecting off my snow-capped mountains...
Like the red sand between my toes, or the ocean lapping at my ankles, or the turkey dinner I'll cook for Thanksgiving, or the lobster dinner I'll cook for Alternative Thanksgiving...

I am so lucky, so blessed, so loved.
Thank you for being here.