Thursday, November 29, 2007

Not much to say, but when has that ever stopped me??

Don't answer that.

I am sort of suspended in this non-feeling place right now...
a holding pattern of sorts.
It's ok, I guess.
Better than agony, right?

I know what I haven't told y'all!
I have a friend staying with me!
I couldn't say anything at first cuz she was kind of hiding out,
but the proverbial dust has proverbially settled and it is ok for me to talk.
It's been fun to have some company, but it has been hard to have less alone time.
I'm sure I'll be drowning in alone time before long, so I should just try to appreciate it, right?
There's a long story associated with it, but I guess none of it matters anymore.
All I know is that there has been enough vicarious drama in my life lately that I am plum wore out.

I think I am struggling to find out who I am just a little bit more than I realized.
Who do I want to be, from here on out?
Now is the time for change, if ever there was one.
The ground is shifting under my feet, my mind is soggy and foggy and groggy.
I feel like I'm lost in a fog, reaching for words and instead grasping emotions or memories, but they're so intangible, and it gets harder to breathe, and harder to see and--
You get the idea.

I'm good, though.
I can't wait for my next date.
Will it be with B?
Or someone else entirely?
Yes, I still totally dig B, and plan to keep seeing him whenever time permits, but.
Oh, the big "but"!
Such a complex "but" it is...
Well, maybe it's pretty simple, actually:
his life is too busy right now and I need more attention.
I mean, hell, that was part of the issue with my marriage so anything that even resembles that pattern freaks me out right now.
He's NOTHING like the Soon-To-Be, though.
Me, I'm happy with the way life is flowing right now, so don't worry about my love life.
I am loving my life, and my life is loving me...

In the meantime, we've gotten REAL snow since last week, and my Mom has kindly offered me ski lessons for christ-mist!
No smashing into trees for me!!
Well, a lowered risk of it, at least.

I ran the divorce papers by a well-recommended attorney today.
That was interesting.
More news on that later...

Happy weekend to you--


Orange said...

Yay for getting a well-recommended attorney! Nothing like having a professional to look out for your interests and the kids', dotting the i's and crossing the t's.

Casual dating sounds perfect for the newly single woman.

A young friend of mine (oh! you know him! Tyler from Sundance) spent about $600 on this career-planning thingamabob, where he went in and took a bunch of tests and the results told him what sort of things are his strengths, what things he doesn't like, what sort of work environment is best for him, what sort of fields his psyche is best-suited for. If you want, I can find out the name of the company that provides this service.

I hope your friend is safe and secure.

Bud said...

If I were a tree, you could run into me. Glad things are going okay. Totally normal to be at this stage of self discovery. It is a new you, after all. Try to make choices that are flexible. But I think you know that.

D-Man said...

Suspended? You mean like hog-tied, or something...?

Lisa said...

You wish, d-man.
Or I wish...?

I would LOVE to run into you, Bud!!! Not at high rates of speed, necessarily, but in a friendly-how-you-doin sorta way, ya know? :) Yes...normal...

Tyler!! Sweet, Orange. Yes, let me know what the company is...I could rully, rully, RULLY use some direction...I took a stupid useless battery of tests that said I would be suited to 4 out of the 5 categories...grrr. And casual dating is almost as fun as casual sex. :D