Sunday, October 28, 2007

Euphoria emanating from the very core of my soul--

That man.
Oh, oh, that man!
Tonight I wore the corset and the heels and a velvet cape and my long black hair was straightened and sometimes I even had the teeth in and
this dear man of mine (mine? how is that possible?) was smiling the whole night away,
was luxuriating in my presence as I was in his.
Everyone in that bar wanted to be us.
The love flowing between us was thick and full.
And tonight it was his turn to talk, finally.
Teen years spent on the beaches of Cali, surfing and smoking pot and sitting around bonfires and then the turns he took, the conscious choices to take new paths!
And he has found a balance, he believes, between the wild and unfettered life of his nature and the structure and restraint necessary to be a part of society.

He spoke my own thoughts out loud and all I could do was smile gently and say, "I know...I know..."

And then he told me that the message I left for him today made him sad,
because he could hear the anxiety in my voice.
And I knew he meant that he missed hearing my usual happiness and I smiled and said, "I know."
And then we went inside and he looked very serious--no, distraught, angsty.
And he said, "I hated that conversation."
For a moment I thought he had switched into an alternate personality because the full length of the conversation we had been having all night was one of the most beautiful segments of communication ever to pass through human lips.
But then he said, "I can't believe I tried to tell you what to do! I tried to tell you what kind of a message you could leave me?" He was incredulous at himself.
"No," I said, taking his face in my hands, "No. You didn't tell me that at all. You told me that you missed hearing ME in that message. I wasn't being Me. So it was a good conversation to have. It told me that you like who I am, and do not need me to ever feel anxious about calling you."
His relief was visible.

And it is important to note that he spent several lovely, long minutes detailing why connecting through our minds was so much more fulfilling than only connecting through sex.
With which I heartily agree.
That said...
we fucked HARD on the counter, and finished up on my living room floor.
And I must say that it feels like he is the missing part of my body when we're twined together like that...

And through all of this passion and all of this connecting-of-the-souls, I still know that he will only be in my life for a brief time.
but I also know that he will give me more in this time than I have ever dreamed possible and that I will come out the other side a changed person.

Also...
I may or may not be minorly high.
I am kinda hungry, kinda sleepy, and just wanting my bed.
Mmmm....my bed has clean sheets and a new blanket!
I have yummy food in my fridge.
I will catch you muthafuckas on the flip side.
Happy halloween!

p.s. the camera washed me out--I look like I have no makeup on, but I do, I do!!!

38 comments:

D-Man said...

Oh. My. You know I have a thing for vampiresses! Wow.

Orange said...

In a society where (some) men feel little compunction about telling women they don't even know to "Smile! It can't be that bad," it's good to have a man who recognizes that it's assholish to expect a woman to put on a happy face for him. So I like that he called himself on that.

Also, did you sanitize that counter, missy?

Bud said...

I'm sorry I've been missing. I like what I'm reading here. And of course what I'm seeing!

Irrelephant said...

Fresh sheets on the bed. Of all the simple little household pleasures (leaving out the really obvious orgasmic ones!) fresh sheets has got to be one of the top 5.

Mr. L said...

"Mom, the meatloaf tastes...different. Did you put something new in it?"

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