Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I used to dream about opening a Women's Shelter of some kind...

And today's flavor would be "Battered."
...and not like corn dogs, even though that's what we joked about while standing in line at the courthouse.
Also, just for clarification, "chocke" is the incorrect spelling for the synonym for strangle.
Should I explain better?
I have this friend who is dear and smart and funny and beautiful, but her spirit was broken as a very young child by a grandfather she went to for comfort.
She hasn't healed well from that, but she is still a strong, amazing woman.
One of the after effects is that she doesn't dare to love and be loved in quite the most healthy way...so she often choses men who are mean to her or just plain unworthy of her.
The most recent was prone to violence, which she copped to inciting it at times (she does like to push buttons!).
Last night I was awakened by my phone ringing around 2:30 am and she was bawling and scared to death as she told me he had just held a gun to her head and threatened to kill her and then himself.
Before that he had choked her, and the gun left a mark on her from the force of his threat.
She had called the police and was hiding in her locked apartment--to which he has a key--while he stalked around outside, still angry.
I held on while the cops arrived and arrested his worthless ass, fear gripping me with a thousand angry hands.
Silent prayers going to my version of God (where the G stands for Galen! peace out motherfuckers)
And then she could semi-sleep because he was in jail.
But this morning she got a call.
He had made bail.
I was in my car before she finished the sentence, and my own adrenaline was pushing me toward her, calmly insisting that she get her son and get out NOW.
(Her older son was already at school, but her younger one is in afternoon kindergarten.)
I met her at her sons' school and we went to the police station to file a protective order.
That bastard is not going to hurt her again.
I refuse to let him.
Fucking dickless piece of shit.
He hates me because I've seen through him from the start...
So we added my address to the list of places that he isn't allowed.
We giggled all day and cried a little here and there, but we're better at humor...
I told her she really needed to eat and she said, "What if I don't?? Will you put a gun to my head?"
and other such comic gems...
I insisted that she come home with me so I could keep her safe, but after much discussion we found a safer solution than that.
I won't say what, but she should have her locks changed and the order served to him within the next day or two, so hopefully he'll stay away...
God, it scares me.
Guys like that don't let restraining orders stop them.
All I can think of is that Dixie Chicks song...
Goodbye Earl.
...not that I condone that sort of thing.

What's most surreal about it is that my dear friend from high school who lives in another state is in a similar relationship and she called me yesterday while I was with the friend I just told you about.
She was calling to tell me that she had begun looking into ways to leave her husband without him accusing her of kidnapping their baby.
I have insisted to her for months that when the time comes all she needs to do is call me and I'll come get her, or send her money to come to me.
Yes, I believe someone has a Savior complex...
but I just love them so much and I can't bear the thought of big fat meanie head men hurting them!!!
So it was just interesting that yesterday my local friend and I were giving the out of state friend some good advice and encouraging her to leave a bad situation and then BOOOOM, things (almost literally) exploded right here.

That fucker better leave her alone.

In cheerier news...
my dear boy called me tonight and we made plans for the weekend.
Don't tell anyone, but...
He really likes me!
...and did I mention how fucking adorable he is, inside and out?
I truly feel like I wished him into existence.
We're going to have so much fun...
We make each other laugh, and we make each other think, and we turn each other on--
does it GET any better than that???
I very smugly didn't think so.

If I get my Linguistics test finished tonight (a take-home exam) and I still have the energy, you guys may get to view a glimpse of the photos I'm going to take...
I will probably end up on the phone with girlfriends instead, but I will be doing this photo shoot soon.
I promise.
...I will not, however, promise to share ALL the photos.
Just some cropped stuff...
Picture me, grinning at you...


Orange said...

I will be antsy with you, hoping that your friends remain safe from the men who are threats to them.

And lest anyone contemplate asking why so many women stay in abusive relationships, read this article.

richmanwisco said...

great credit to you for your understanding and your courage.

and after two wild romps it occurs to you that he likes you! cutie...

Lisa said...

Hey! All men like sex, and many of them, when you give it up so soon, don't stick around to enjoy the rest of a woman. So yes...it took me a minute to be sure he liked me, and while you're at it, make that THREE wild romps and two civilized dates. ;)

Thanks, Sister Orange! The more of us there are thinking positively the better. It's so hard to watch, even when it's less dramatic than last night's issue.

d-man said...

That Fucker better stay away. Otherwise I can give some ninja tips on how to "make him disappear". (I don't want to ruin the surprise, but all you need is an Acme anvil and some bird seed).

leen said...

oh hon. i hope your friends stay safe and strong and that they can both move into a much healthier life for themselves and their children - quickly.


sky girl said...

That's some scary stuff. Kudos to you for stepping up. It's not an easy thing to do but all women need a friend that they can count on in such times.

Mona Buonanotte said...

Holy crap! Good for you taking care of your friends, I hope they come through okay. And that Dixie Chicks song is right on the money, baby.